The biggest problem I have had in purging excess from my life is the sentimental attachment I have to things.
My mother is the sort that felt guilt as a kid if she gave one stuffed animal more attention than another..... You may be more like me feeling like you have to wear that sweater that only looks okay on you. (You know the one that looked cute on the hanger, but you didn't try on? It needs it's turn too, right? )
Sensitivity about things is not a negative attribute, in fact it reflects our purpose and our creator. We are beings created to appreciate beauty. We were made to care. So it makes sense we want to hold onto things of beauty, or things attached to beautiful memories. However, we weren't made to hold onto things that no longer serve a purpose and may hinder our ability to care for what is important.
What is important? Loving our neighbors. Loving our friends. Loving our family. Living life to the fullest.
Purging can help us love others through generosity. It can also help us love our families by getting rid of distractions and freeing up space and time for living.
That said, here are....
5 strategies for breaking the sentimental attachment:
Ask "Would I rather wear/use something else?"- I attend an average of 2 weddings a year, so how many dresses of wedding quality do I need? Probably one per wedding season, if my taste changes. Thing is, I was holding onto multiple dresses I never wore because I kept thinking, "Oh, I could wear it at a wedding." However, once the wedding rolled around I wanted to wear my favored wedding guest dress, not the others. If you don't wear something for the purpose you save it for, it is not worth keeping. (This goes for any clothing item you keep around because you spent too much money on it too)
Try things on: Don't wear what makes you feel only 'Okay,' wear what makes you feel great. I know I had a few items in my closet I remembered being a lot more flattering than they were when I tried them on. Emotional bond broken. Toss it OR....
Think of Others: Your items that sit in your closet could be the treasured pieces of another person's closet.
There were things I couldn't imagine dropping off at goodwill for a stranger to find, particularly dresses I altered myself. So instead I tried to think of other people who had similar style and may be able to give the dresses a few more frolics about.
Bonus: Try a clothes swap with some friends to adopt out all your sentimental pieces into good homes. I did one this past spring and even procured a few of my summer staples in the process.
Ask "Does it bring me joy?"
- If the answer is "No", chuck that bad boy. Easy.
-If the answer is "Yes this is my fave!" Keep it.
-If the answer is "It's complicated; it reminds me of _______ good time, but I don't wear it" - Be THANKFUL! You have great memories! However you don't have to keep it in dress form. Take a picture and pass it on to help make great memories for another person.
-If the answer is "Kinda?......I don't want to toss it because ______." Try to put it out of sight a while and see if you miss it. Or mark it in your mind as 'Do I really need it?' and keep asking when you go in you closet. Continued reconsidering can help create an emotional break and help you think more logically about what you need.
Ask "Does it bring me some kind of guilt or sadness?" - This is probably the weirdest one, but it's one I discovered recently. I had a few items in my closet that I loved: my favorite flannel shirt, a summer plaid shirt and a cute fall dress to be exact. However, these were items I had in college and they held lingering memories of boyfriends past. Anytime I wore them, even though they still looked great on me and I've worn them numerous times since being married, I still had the ghostly thought of this or that ex and the irrational guilt that I still owned things that reminded me of them. So, I finally threw them out. I still don't have a flannel to replace my old one, but I also don't have anything reminding me of a long gone ex.
These are just a few strategies I've been trying out and I hope they help you too! Let me know about your experience or any strategies you have used for yourself in the comments.
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