5 Strategies to Break Sentimental Attachment to Things

The biggest problem I have had in purging excess from my life is the sentimental attachment I have to things.

My mother is the sort that felt guilt as a kid if she gave one stuffed animal more attention than another..... You may be more like me feeling like you have to wear that sweater that only looks okay on you. (You know the one that looked cute on the hanger, but you didn't try on? It needs it's turn too, right? )

Sensitivity about things is not a negative attribute, in fact it reflects our purpose and our creator. We are beings created to appreciate beauty. We were made to care. So it makes sense we want to hold onto things of beauty, or things attached to beautiful memories. However, we weren't made to hold onto things that no longer serve a purpose and may hinder our ability to care for what is important.

 What is important? Loving our neighbors. Loving our friends. Loving our family. Living life to the fullest.

Purging can help us love others through generosity.  It can also help us love our families by getting rid of distractions and freeing up space and time for living.

That said, here are....

5 strategies for breaking the sentimental attachment:

Ask "Would I rather wear/use something else?"- I attend an average of 2 weddings a year, so how many dresses of wedding quality do I need? Probably one per wedding season, if my taste changes.  Thing is, I was holding onto multiple dresses I never wore because I kept thinking, "Oh, I could wear it at a wedding." However, once the wedding rolled around I wanted to wear my favored wedding guest dress, not the others.  If you don't wear something for the purpose you save it for, it is not worth keeping.  (This goes for any clothing item you keep around because you spent too much money on it too)

Try things on: Don't wear what makes you feel only 'Okay,' wear what makes you feel great. I know I had a few items in my closet I remembered being a lot more flattering than they were when I tried them on. Emotional bond broken. Toss it OR....

Think of Others: Your items that sit in your closet could be the treasured pieces of another person's closet.
There were things I couldn't imagine dropping off at goodwill for a stranger to find, particularly dresses I altered myself.  So instead I tried to think of other people who had similar style and may be able to give the dresses a few more frolics about.

Bonus: Try a clothes swap with some friends to adopt out all your sentimental pieces into good homes. I did one this past spring and even procured a few of my summer staples in the process. 

Ask "Does it bring me joy?"

- If the answer is "No", chuck that bad boy.  Easy.

-If the answer is "Yes this is my fave!" Keep it.

-If the answer is "It's complicated; it reminds me of _______ good time, but I don't wear it" - Be THANKFUL! You have great memories! However you don't have to keep it in dress form. Take a picture and pass it on to help make great memories for another person.

-If the answer is "Kinda?......I don't want to toss it because ______."  Try to put it out of sight a while and see if you miss it. Or mark it in your mind as 'Do I really need it?' and keep asking when you go in you closet. Continued reconsidering can help create an emotional break and help you think more logically about what you need.

Ask "Does it bring me some kind of guilt or sadness?" - This is probably the weirdest one, but it's one I discovered recently.  I had a few items in my closet that I loved: my favorite flannel shirt, a summer plaid shirt and a cute fall dress to be exact.  However, these were items I had in college and they held lingering memories of boyfriends past. Anytime I wore them, even though they still looked great on me and I've worn them numerous times since being married, I still had the ghostly thought of this or that ex and the irrational guilt that I still owned things that reminded me of them. So, I finally threw them out. I still don't have a flannel to replace my old one, but I also don't have anything reminding me of a long gone ex.

These are just a few strategies I've been trying out and I hope they help you too! Let me know about your experience or any strategies you have used for yourself in the comments.

How to Test a Capsule Wardrobe Without the Commitment

There is this new trend going around the fashion world called 'capsule wardrobes.' Some others talk about a French closet. Either way, it's the same concept. The idea is to maximize your style and simplify your life by making up a curated, typically, seasonal set of clothes made up of items you can mix and match to make a variety of options.

If you took math in school it's basic multiplication; with three pairs of pants and three tops that can be matched together, you can make nine different outfits. Add in shoes, and accessories and your options only expand even more. So how many items of clothing does one person really need? THAT number is debatable across the blogosphere and I'm not going to get into that. However, there are a lot of concepts that I LOVE from this movement, and a lot of benefits I have already started to experience that I will touch on.

One blogger who was instrumental in getting me on board has a blog named un-fancy and I found her blog through another Dallas mom's post about jumping into a capsule wardrobe. (Click the links to check them out for yourself)
Both have great advice and wonderful ideas on how to process and start.

I started slowly and here is how I would suggest someone to start if they are skeptical.

Since it is almost fall and I have been thinking through my own fall wardrobe here is how you can join the trend.

Become your own curator. Why curate? Because that is what I feel like I am doing. Just like a good curator would do in a gallery you need to think through a collection of pieces that work together and compliment each other, in color, theme, feel,  and purpose.

Try out a small collection of your own for a week and see if you miss having all the others, then if you like it, try it out for a bit longer and see what you grab from your closet that you didn't have in the beginning and edit your collection. Soon, I think you will find that you miss very little and start to feel less sentimental attachment to clothes that you never wear and can start to condense your wardrobe down to the essentials.

The Mission should you choose to accept it: Create a fall collection.

Start with things you have and pull your favorites first:
(this is just a basic list to give you an idea of how to start not a set of rules)


Pants:

2 pairs of jeans (your go-to pair better be one of them)
1 pair of pants of a different color
Black skinnies (if you aren't a black skinnies kind of person, that is fine, I just find them to be very versatile)

Shirts:

Two Sweaters
6 shirts (a couple button ups makes for even more options with layering)
1-2 cardigans
1-2 light jackets/hoodie
gray/black/white t-shirts and camisoles

Dressy clothes:

Skirts: 2 if you wear them
Dresses: One comfy, one dressy (I would personally grab 3 dresses since I almost never wear skirts)

Now look at your collection and trade out things that only work with one pair of pants or one sweater.        Think through what kind of style you want to have and how you want to present yourself. Do you prefer more relaxed items or want to look more edgy; do you need run around at the park clothes or do you need work clothes?

Accessories: 

Belts: one brown and black (Or one skinny, one fat)
SCARVES: 2- Okay this is my weak spot, I have probably 30 scarves and I am not getting rid of any anytime soon. That said, try pulling out one or two that will work with your shirts. If you chose solid color shirts a patterned scarf can go a long way and visa-versa.
Necklaces: 2- having a couple on hand that work well with your shirts is crucial when getting ready and can really add spunk to an outfit. If you know what works ahead of time there is no thought needed when getting dressed.  I'm a pretty no-fuss kinda girl but it still used to take me a couple tries of different outfits on Sunday before I settled into my pick. Now, I usually know before I even go in my closet. It's pretty awesome.

Shoes:

Pair of Boots or two: being in Texas my new ankle boots will be my go-to, but if you are in a colder climate a different pair may be better.
Sneakers: a pair of Vans, Keds, Converse, etc.
Dress shoes: One pair of flats, one pair of heals (I did two pair of heals because I have a history of trouble finding good flats)

Trust me you can do this experiment.  I started slowly and did a good bit of blog reading to convince myself.  I am still not to the point of getting rid of everything, but I am down to about 50% of what I once had and feel like I have more options. I have put away clothing from the off-seasons into storage or the back of the closet

I did test out my own small wardrobe, within my wardrobe, to see how I liked it in the spring and I love it. Ever since I have been whittling down.

For additional inspiration you can read a little about Marie Kondo and her book 'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' or if you are like me and want the fast version you can watch a short video for inspiration.

This fall, I'll be taking my own medicine and trying my capsule wardrobe out. Of course, being in Texas, I may not really get to test it out for another month or two, but it is ready to go.

Have fun experimenting and message me with progress, stories or photos.

Why are the Lilies Content?

Like many other folks, I have a coveting problem. The catch is the Lord hasn't blessed us with an abundance of cash. Don't get me wrong, we have enough and over the last year of purging and reorganizing I see we have TOO much. So how is it that I always FEEL like I need more? I can blame it on social media; Facebook friends buying houses, getting pets, and building gardens...Or I could blame it on Instagram and Pinterest for glossing life and making everything look perfectly lit and curated, but I'm starting to believe the root is much deeper.

This year God has been teaching me a couple things.
First, my discontent is from my lack of gratefulness.  Second, I have a lot of crap in my life that blocks me from seeing the gold God has already supplied us with.  Third, it takes time to change.

I desire to be more disciplined with my spending of what I am given.

I want to feel more peaceful in my home.

I still want to look fly and be comfortable in my clothes.

I want to be CONTENT with what I have.

In Matthew 6:32-33 it says when speaking about our anxieties over physical needs,

"For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

It may seem like a strange way to seek after God, but I feel right now, for myself, part of seeking after God is to simplify my lifestyle and learn to be content with what I have. I hope that in organizing, remaking, and simplifying I learn more about thankfulness and see what I've already been blessed with, as well as start to develop an attitude that is more healthy in relation to things.

So that is the short of why I am starting this journey. I will post the small chores I tackle and discuss strategies for change. I hope you can join me!