Generosity in Poverty: 10 Simple Ways to give

  But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” 

Mark 12:42-44

I picture Jesus whispering to his buddies so as not to embarrass the woman. "Did you see that woman put in a couple pennies? To you it may seem like nothing, but to her it is everything. She is generous even in her poverty!" 

Over the last year I have felt convicted. I am not a naturally generous person. But God has been changing that, and convinced me that my 'poverty' is not an excuse.

Last year I made a new friend. My husband, Stephen, and I had been living in Dallas for about a month and we spotted a young couple with a young son and infant. Watching them creepily across the parking lot I said to Stephen (as we put our own infant in the car) "We should introduce ourselves to them if we see them again." Not long later we met and became fast friends.

My new friend Lindsay was also a stay at home mom and we bonded over our husbands similar salaries, which made for shared interest in penny pinching. And this strangely started my journey to being more generous within my 'poverty.'*

*I put 'poverty' in quotes because fact is, I live in a first world country and have plenty to eat, even though it can feel like we have little else.  

On a number of occasions this verse (or an abridged version of it) kept popping in my head. 

 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 

2 Corinthians 9:7

To many people Lindsay and I may not have a lot of be generous with.  We both were living in two bedroom apartments with kids, we both had a limited budget, I was in a one car family, but it was through this relationship that God started to show me how to offer up those pennies I'd been holding.

So here are....

 10 ways to be generous in your 'poverty'

1. Share Bulk Groceries: I don't know who started it, but Lindsay and I started sharing groceries. I'd buy the bulk bag of potatoes and know it would sprout before I got to the last 4, so I'd take 4 over to Lindsay. She would do the same.  
2. Share Baked Goods: Many times in my heart I had decided to give some cookies away and just didn't. Lindsay, also a sweets lover, helped me get over this. She was so appreciative, I felt so good to be able to share. It was also a bonus to know I could make a treat and not worry about eating the whole batch unassisted!
3. Give or Lend Children's Toys/things:  Lindsay gave me a number of toys her sons no longer loved or used. I was able to lend a walking toy to another friend until we need it back for another child. This can also be expanded to anything baby related that kids grow out of in months (that boppy, bumbo, swing, play mat, books, clothes etc.). Baby stuff is expensive and if it is taking up space in your storage and someone else could use it, you can lend it out!
4. Give Rides: Lindsay was a life saver in the hot summer days.  I was a new mom, new to Texas and lacking a car for half the week. She would invite me to go grocery shopping, or to consignment sales and we would go together. Other friends have picked us up from the mechanic, or driven us to church.  Something as simple as a ride can be huge and a form of generosity most americans can offer. 
5. Give Clothes: Hand-me-downs aren't just for kids anymore! I love when my friends think to offer me clothes before they drop it at a thrift store. Lindsay and I do this on the regular as we clean out our closets to simplify.  Particularly for those with limited finances, clothes shopping is fairly low on the priority list, so if you have clothing that isn't hole-y or stained, ask around and see if anyone wants to do a clothes exchange or just to rummage through your stuff. 
6. Lend out Books or Movies: Generosity doesn't have to be giving things away forever. (Although write your name in books if you want it back) We don't own a lot of books, but the ones we do own we want everyone to read! It's so fun when our friends get into a book we love.  Not only do books and movies have the benefit of giving enjoyment to the viewer, they also can promote good conversation for the future. 
7. Give your Time: In our first months in Texas a man climbed onto our 3rd floor balcony and I caught him through the window with his hand on my husbands road bike. I had my 5 month old on my hip and I was pretty scared. The man saw me and backed away and over the rail by the time I got my phone to call the police, but boy was I thankful for Lindsay and her husband Eduyn.  They were SO generous with their time. Eduyn walked over to my place to walk me and the baby back to their apartment. They shared delicious traditional Venezuelan breakfast with me and played with Charlotte.  They let me stay as long as I wanted even though it was a rare morning alone for them as their boys were with their grandmother.  It was extremely meaningful to me that they were generous with their time. I'm not saying you'll find yourself in a situation like this, but being available just to be with someone can mean a lot. 
8. Be generous with your Skills: Cleaning, organizing, mental processing, furniture lifting, computer fixing, child watching, encouraging, decorating, photography, building, creating, etc. I am not saying to work for free all the time, but when you feel lead, your skills can be a gift to others. (We didn't have money to spare for maternity portraits but a friend of mine did them for us, and it's a blessing I'll never forget)
9. Share a Meal: There are lots of inexpensive options for meals. Most of my cooking for larger numbers of people involves a large helping of rice. People appreciate food; that's why there are three on this list to specify how to be generous with it. 
10. Be Generous with your Story: One of the other great things Lindsay gave me was a generosity with her story. She was open about her marriage, her struggles and her desires for life. It helped me to be open as well.  Being generous with your words in letters, emails, and messages is also a way to encourage others that isn't costly, but is valuable. 

The more I have been able to practice giving the easier it gets and the more my heart wants to give. Following through on that desire is the first step. Is there someone you wanted to send a letter to but didn't get around to it? Do you have a neighbor that needs assistance to get to the grocery store? Do you know a family with kids who may need a night out but don't have money for a sitter? Or do you have friends who'd like company for a meal, or cookies before a test?

The ironic thing about being generous in your poverty is  you start to feel like you have a lot more to give. 

15 Minute DIY Rustic Jewelry Display

The top of my dresser has been a sore spot in my bedroom. My frequently used jewelry lays on top of the dresser and sometimes gets snagged by my tip-toeing toddler. I've been wanting to buy something to hang my necklaces from so they'd be out of Charlotte's reach, but I'm trying not to buy more, so I had to get creative. When my toddler handed me a nice cedar stick at the park I had my inspiration.  I'd seen similar things online and thought this would be simple enough to make. I was right too.

Here is what you need:

• A stick
• Twine
• 3/4" cup hooks (I bought two packs, but only used one)
• scissors 
• pliers 

This has got to be the easiest DIY I've ever thought up. It literally took me 15 minutes to put together including photos.

I started by wrapping the twine around the end and making a knot. I then repeated the process on the other side leaving a little slack.

I then screwed in a hook around the center of the stick. I found the pliers were helpful for the last couple turns.  (You may want to hold it up from the twine to see what part of the stick is on the bottom)

I held the stick, hanging from the twine, against a wall to make sure the hook hung the correct direction. I then marked with a pen the approximate spots I wanted the other hooks to be on the bottom of the stick.  Then I twisted in the next four screws and was ready to hang it up.

Ta-Dah! 

Leave a comment and let me know what you think! Please post pictures if you try it out yourself. :)

5 Strategies to Break Sentimental Attachment to Things

The biggest problem I have had in purging excess from my life is the sentimental attachment I have to things.

My mother is the sort that felt guilt as a kid if she gave one stuffed animal more attention than another..... You may be more like me feeling like you have to wear that sweater that only looks okay on you. (You know the one that looked cute on the hanger, but you didn't try on? It needs it's turn too, right? )

Sensitivity about things is not a negative attribute, in fact it reflects our purpose and our creator. We are beings created to appreciate beauty. We were made to care. So it makes sense we want to hold onto things of beauty, or things attached to beautiful memories. However, we weren't made to hold onto things that no longer serve a purpose and may hinder our ability to care for what is important.

 What is important? Loving our neighbors. Loving our friends. Loving our family. Living life to the fullest.

Purging can help us love others through generosity.  It can also help us love our families by getting rid of distractions and freeing up space and time for living.

That said, here are....

5 strategies for breaking the sentimental attachment:

Ask "Would I rather wear/use something else?"- I attend an average of 2 weddings a year, so how many dresses of wedding quality do I need? Probably one per wedding season, if my taste changes.  Thing is, I was holding onto multiple dresses I never wore because I kept thinking, "Oh, I could wear it at a wedding." However, once the wedding rolled around I wanted to wear my favored wedding guest dress, not the others.  If you don't wear something for the purpose you save it for, it is not worth keeping.  (This goes for any clothing item you keep around because you spent too much money on it too)

Try things on: Don't wear what makes you feel only 'Okay,' wear what makes you feel great. I know I had a few items in my closet I remembered being a lot more flattering than they were when I tried them on. Emotional bond broken. Toss it OR....

Think of Others: Your items that sit in your closet could be the treasured pieces of another person's closet.
There were things I couldn't imagine dropping off at goodwill for a stranger to find, particularly dresses I altered myself.  So instead I tried to think of other people who had similar style and may be able to give the dresses a few more frolics about.

Bonus: Try a clothes swap with some friends to adopt out all your sentimental pieces into good homes. I did one this past spring and even procured a few of my summer staples in the process. 

Ask "Does it bring me joy?"

- If the answer is "No", chuck that bad boy.  Easy.

-If the answer is "Yes this is my fave!" Keep it.

-If the answer is "It's complicated; it reminds me of _______ good time, but I don't wear it" - Be THANKFUL! You have great memories! However you don't have to keep it in dress form. Take a picture and pass it on to help make great memories for another person.

-If the answer is "Kinda?......I don't want to toss it because ______."  Try to put it out of sight a while and see if you miss it. Or mark it in your mind as 'Do I really need it?' and keep asking when you go in you closet. Continued reconsidering can help create an emotional break and help you think more logically about what you need.

Ask "Does it bring me some kind of guilt or sadness?" - This is probably the weirdest one, but it's one I discovered recently.  I had a few items in my closet that I loved: my favorite flannel shirt, a summer plaid shirt and a cute fall dress to be exact.  However, these were items I had in college and they held lingering memories of boyfriends past. Anytime I wore them, even though they still looked great on me and I've worn them numerous times since being married, I still had the ghostly thought of this or that ex and the irrational guilt that I still owned things that reminded me of them. So, I finally threw them out. I still don't have a flannel to replace my old one, but I also don't have anything reminding me of a long gone ex.

These are just a few strategies I've been trying out and I hope they help you too! Let me know about your experience or any strategies you have used for yourself in the comments.

How to Test a Capsule Wardrobe Without the Commitment

There is this new trend going around the fashion world called 'capsule wardrobes.' Some others talk about a French closet. Either way, it's the same concept. The idea is to maximize your style and simplify your life by making up a curated, typically, seasonal set of clothes made up of items you can mix and match to make a variety of options.

If you took math in school it's basic multiplication; with three pairs of pants and three tops that can be matched together, you can make nine different outfits. Add in shoes, and accessories and your options only expand even more. So how many items of clothing does one person really need? THAT number is debatable across the blogosphere and I'm not going to get into that. However, there are a lot of concepts that I LOVE from this movement, and a lot of benefits I have already started to experience that I will touch on.

One blogger who was instrumental in getting me on board has a blog named un-fancy and I found her blog through another Dallas mom's post about jumping into a capsule wardrobe. (Click the links to check them out for yourself)
Both have great advice and wonderful ideas on how to process and start.

I started slowly and here is how I would suggest someone to start if they are skeptical.

Since it is almost fall and I have been thinking through my own fall wardrobe here is how you can join the trend.

Become your own curator. Why curate? Because that is what I feel like I am doing. Just like a good curator would do in a gallery you need to think through a collection of pieces that work together and compliment each other, in color, theme, feel,  and purpose.

Try out a small collection of your own for a week and see if you miss having all the others, then if you like it, try it out for a bit longer and see what you grab from your closet that you didn't have in the beginning and edit your collection. Soon, I think you will find that you miss very little and start to feel less sentimental attachment to clothes that you never wear and can start to condense your wardrobe down to the essentials.

The Mission should you choose to accept it: Create a fall collection.

Start with things you have and pull your favorites first:
(this is just a basic list to give you an idea of how to start not a set of rules)


Pants:

2 pairs of jeans (your go-to pair better be one of them)
1 pair of pants of a different color
Black skinnies (if you aren't a black skinnies kind of person, that is fine, I just find them to be very versatile)

Shirts:

Two Sweaters
6 shirts (a couple button ups makes for even more options with layering)
1-2 cardigans
1-2 light jackets/hoodie
gray/black/white t-shirts and camisoles

Dressy clothes:

Skirts: 2 if you wear them
Dresses: One comfy, one dressy (I would personally grab 3 dresses since I almost never wear skirts)

Now look at your collection and trade out things that only work with one pair of pants or one sweater.        Think through what kind of style you want to have and how you want to present yourself. Do you prefer more relaxed items or want to look more edgy; do you need run around at the park clothes or do you need work clothes?

Accessories: 

Belts: one brown and black (Or one skinny, one fat)
SCARVES: 2- Okay this is my weak spot, I have probably 30 scarves and I am not getting rid of any anytime soon. That said, try pulling out one or two that will work with your shirts. If you chose solid color shirts a patterned scarf can go a long way and visa-versa.
Necklaces: 2- having a couple on hand that work well with your shirts is crucial when getting ready and can really add spunk to an outfit. If you know what works ahead of time there is no thought needed when getting dressed.  I'm a pretty no-fuss kinda girl but it still used to take me a couple tries of different outfits on Sunday before I settled into my pick. Now, I usually know before I even go in my closet. It's pretty awesome.

Shoes:

Pair of Boots or two: being in Texas my new ankle boots will be my go-to, but if you are in a colder climate a different pair may be better.
Sneakers: a pair of Vans, Keds, Converse, etc.
Dress shoes: One pair of flats, one pair of heals (I did two pair of heals because I have a history of trouble finding good flats)

Trust me you can do this experiment.  I started slowly and did a good bit of blog reading to convince myself.  I am still not to the point of getting rid of everything, but I am down to about 50% of what I once had and feel like I have more options. I have put away clothing from the off-seasons into storage or the back of the closet

I did test out my own small wardrobe, within my wardrobe, to see how I liked it in the spring and I love it. Ever since I have been whittling down.

For additional inspiration you can read a little about Marie Kondo and her book 'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' or if you are like me and want the fast version you can watch a short video for inspiration.

This fall, I'll be taking my own medicine and trying my capsule wardrobe out. Of course, being in Texas, I may not really get to test it out for another month or two, but it is ready to go.

Have fun experimenting and message me with progress, stories or photos.

Surround Yourself with Loveliness

Philippians 4:8 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

If we surround ourselves with things that are lovely, true, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy, don't you think we'd be more likely to dwell on such things? 

When you picture heaven, or even your own favorite place on earth, is it lovely? 

When I picture those places that made me feel at ease or content in the world, they are beautiful. The clear blue-green waters of my favorite quarry, the ocean view on family vacation with mountains kissing the water, and even my favorite quaint, clean coffee shop in Korea all have something in common; they are all lovely, welcoming and peaceful. 

View from a glass house in Ubatuba, Brazil. 

When we were fortunate enough to stay a couple nights in a glass house in Brazil we woke in the morning to the sun painting the sky in warm colors. We ate breakfast as the rain drizzled and saturated the forest around us. I could not help but be thankful and joyful. 

The feeling of calm and gratitude is what I want to create in my own home. 

When I see mess, or excess I just think about what needs/should be done and not about all I have to be thankful for. In my bathroom I like to have the things I use everyday readily available and thus they tend to be on the counter. This, however, was becoming a problem with my toddler getting taller and being able to reach more and more things. Everything was just pushed as far back as possible to be out of the toddler grasp and it looked awful.

It came to me that this spot was easily salvageable. Some of the things on the counter were no longer needed every day and could be put under the sink to store, some things I could put in the medicine cabinet and the rest were things I use daily.  I remembered I had a wire cabinet shelf that wasn't being used and voila- extra space and everything is still accessible. 

It's still not beautiful, but it's no longer reminding me of a chore I need to do. Instead of clutter, I can see all I have and it's all I need. 

Trouble Spots

Paul talked about people who fell away from the important things in life (namely God) and had this to say about them: 

"Their end is destruction, 

their god is their belly, 

and they glory in their shame, 

with minds set on earthly things." 

Philippians 3:19 

I don't want my mind to be set on earthly things or to think my glory comes from things.

So why is it so important for me to attack small spots of clutter and mess in my house?

Mainly, I've found that when my space is clean of clutter, or visually pleasing I feel more at ease and less distracted. When there is clutter, I always feel like I have something else to do, some project that needs attending to and it is frustrating and distracting from my time with family and peace of mind. My temptation is to BUY new things to stow stuff away or hide things. I continue to believe the lies that just this, or that will make it all better. I want to stop believing that. My challenge is to use what I have and purge my life of excess.

With that in mind I've decided to tackle one 'trouble spot' at a time.  Today it was the spot on a counter that some how ended up being a kind of junk drawer.

Here is the before:

In tackling small spots there is the temptation to just move the clutter from one trouble spot to another. I admit, I probably did that a little bit. But I took stock of what I had and dealt with as many problems as I could.

Here is my toddler 'helping' the situation. 

And this is what was in the box: 

-Teas, some of which I will never drink (sorry ginseng, but you just aren't my flavor!)

-Games

-Streamers

-Hand sanitizer wipe

-Korean box of coasters

-Coffee filters

-Money/money rolls

-Bag of candy I'll never eat

-One hot cocoa packet

and yes, that white square is a pad (to make matters weirder it's from Korea! Hello, four years ago...*insert embarrassed emoji*)

As a retiring pack-rat throwing things away is always hard and it take practice and it gets easier and even enjoyable. I'll post more on specifics another time. 

Today, I threw a few things away, placed others to give away, put things with other like items in the house and repackaged my filters and tea box to hold a bit more and take up less space. I then dealt with bills and threw away trash, then stood them vertically rather than horizontally. The majority of this clean was putting things where they should be or getting rid of them. 

This is the result:

Yay! So fresh! So clean! And it may even be sustainable...we shall see. 

Why are the Lilies Content?

Like many other folks, I have a coveting problem. The catch is the Lord hasn't blessed us with an abundance of cash. Don't get me wrong, we have enough and over the last year of purging and reorganizing I see we have TOO much. So how is it that I always FEEL like I need more? I can blame it on social media; Facebook friends buying houses, getting pets, and building gardens...Or I could blame it on Instagram and Pinterest for glossing life and making everything look perfectly lit and curated, but I'm starting to believe the root is much deeper.

This year God has been teaching me a couple things.
First, my discontent is from my lack of gratefulness.  Second, I have a lot of crap in my life that blocks me from seeing the gold God has already supplied us with.  Third, it takes time to change.

I desire to be more disciplined with my spending of what I am given.

I want to feel more peaceful in my home.

I still want to look fly and be comfortable in my clothes.

I want to be CONTENT with what I have.

In Matthew 6:32-33 it says when speaking about our anxieties over physical needs,

"For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

It may seem like a strange way to seek after God, but I feel right now, for myself, part of seeking after God is to simplify my lifestyle and learn to be content with what I have. I hope that in organizing, remaking, and simplifying I learn more about thankfulness and see what I've already been blessed with, as well as start to develop an attitude that is more healthy in relation to things.

So that is the short of why I am starting this journey. I will post the small chores I tackle and discuss strategies for change. I hope you can join me!